The only way I'd be able to do California was if I was down in LA. [Because hot damn those parties? She'd totally do cocaine with Charlie Sheen, okay?]

We'll get out of here for a night. I'll show you how we really do it in the city. Long Island is just full of guidos, so we've really got to get out- there's no way I'm taking you to a place like Nachos or Dizzy's. [Two classy Hempstead bars right there on the Turnpike. No way. You could get an STD from sitting down in there.]

[And she's drinking again.] I mean okay, I grew up in Jersey so I'm one to talk.