Closed Doors [Open in spite of Thread Name]

[notworthless]

Who: Callie, People who might find her.
What: Third Cohort's resident angry teen is being even less social.
When: Late Afternoon
Where: Amphitheater
Why: She takes (perceived) rejection very well.

Callie, if you can believe it, has been even less social now that she's been demoted. Any direct conversations she did her best to end quickly, she was... polite, but it was clearly forced. She'd also started varying her locations to hide out from other people. Part of it was the thought of getting out of here kept gnawing at the back of her mind, part of it was just avoiding the choice. The choice she didn't want to face.

Right now she was doing a paper map from her camera, marking out the places she's been. Something to keep her mind off things, she needed to do it anyway. A 'coverage map' she could show Dean would help them work out whatever favor she owes him, even if it isn't getting his car. But if they find a way around the magics of Trivia's children, she wanted to be ready. It hurt to even consider being trapped here by an 'ally.' When they were trapped due to the siege, that was one thing. But the Greeks who made it clear how much they owed for such hospitality now had this as a prison. How would they find the Red Room without sending out parties, how would they hunt down any information from within a barrier so tight it was meant to contain all manner of transit?

And with the walls tightening, all she really wanted was to find a space to be in peace, which was becoming more complicated with so many people and so few places to go. At least, for the moment, nobody seemed to keen on a talent show, or singing, so the theater seemed more than empty. And anyone who sought her out would look in the woods, Nike's cabin, or behind Cabin two.

She should be safe here for a little while, for whatever passed as safe anymore...

Comments

[notworthless]

"Sacrifice is not telling Jude what I am, where I am, and having him hate me for leaving him behind. Cause if he knew about Trivia's blood he'd become a target to monsters." Callie started, eyes still gleaming with where her heart was, "It was five years of taking crap from people using me and my brother for a cheap paycheck. Making sure that everyone hated me more than him, so I got beat up. It's doing whatever it takes so that the legion survives, so that I don't have to carry anymore dying children from a burning school. Even die, just to make sure someone else doesn't have to be me."

"And apparently this makes me selfish, that it's all about me. That I feel I'm better than everyone." Her eyes are burning and she's trying not to cry. She mumbles her next words. "Anyone that thinks I'm better than them must be the lowest form of crap on this earth..."

[rainfelled]

She was quiet as she listened. It hurt to see Callie in so much pain, but at the same time she couldn't help a feeling of admiration to Callie's conviction. She wanted to reach out and hug her, but she knew she shouldn't. She knew Callie wouldn't appreciate that without permission, and so Aqua refrained from doing so.

"Callie, that took a lot of courage and love to do what you had to do. I wish you didn't have to do any of those things and go through all that pain. But...instead of being someone he hates, why not be someone Jude can be proud of?"

[notworthless]

"By lying? He can't know what I am, so he can't know what I do. Plus I abandoned him two years ago. He's happy now, he has a family... putting him in danger and relocating him somewhere safe? Like this prison. Then I really would be selfish, and everything Dave thinks about me would be true."

Callie made a choice, her or Jude. His happiness for her's, it wasn't a trade she'd make. He could have a good, happy life. One with a family that cares, really cares. Not just... using him for a paycheck, or as unpaid cleaning. Crap, she was crying wasn't she?

"It didn't take any courage, I wasn't scared."

[rainfelled]

"Courage doesn't mean facing a fear. It can be part of what makes someone courageous, but it's not all that it is. You did what was needed to protect your brother, and then faced the consequences of those decisions."

Aqua made as if to reach out, but she stopped and took her hand back.

"Now that Jude's happy, why can't you let yourself be happy? Just because you had to lose something doesn't mean that you can't gain another thing."

[notworthless]

"In this prison? The only thing that works for me is legion work. Quests, being useful. I'm not even a full legionnaire anymore. And if I could call this place home, what then? It'll just make sure this place burns just like New Rome. And thanks to the stupid barriers I won't be able to save anyone!"

Callie turned away to try to salvage some of her dignity. She didn't know how to let people in, she didn't remember. Some people just... understood, not through words, or sharing, or feelings but... they knew. She didn't even realize all her walls until she was faced with the idea of getting passed them.

[rainfelled]

"Then don't make a place your home. Make other people your home. Ven did."

She shook her head. She was hoping maybe some of this was getting through, but she wouldn't know for sure.

[notworthless]

Callie knew her initial response to the idea, 'so I can watch them die?' but kept that to herself. Not very helpful, to always assume the worst. But someone has to.

"We're in a war right now, nobody is safe no matter how many barriers this place has. I don't want anyone to become me, that includes making them in my death."