halfbloodhill_logs | & when I get there it won't be far enough[closed]

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& when I get there it won't be far enough[closed]

Who: Eponine and Charlie
When: February 13th, the day after Charlie's 13th birthday
Where: The Arena
Why: Eponine said if she ruined his birthday party, Charlie could come yell at her and get a few free shots in at the arena. She's expecting him to take her up on her offer.

It was only the promise of Charlie that got Eponine out of bed that morning. Throwing on her shoes, smearing her tired eyes with liner, her hair a complete mess, she grabbed a coffee from the dining pavillion before making her way to the arena. She didn't bother to say hello to anyone or anything. All she knew is that by now, Charlie had read her letter. And he probably, without a doubt, hated her for ruining his party. And would never be her friend again.

And that... It stung. Part of her knew it would be for the best. She wouldn't hurt him anymore. But...

But he'd always been there for her. And she didn't want to lose him. Not at the end of the day. There was still that little bit of feeling there that told her, deep inside, maybe she wasn't as hopeless as she thought.

All the same, it was only a matter of time before Charlie arrived and told her he hated her. Welcome to being a teenager, kid.

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Charlie had read the letter after the party. It was not what he was expecting. If anything, he thought it really would have been a cool t-shirt and some sort of birthday card, but this was... different. He wasn't sure how to feel about it.

He understood that Eponine trusted him enough to tell him that sort of thing, to hand over the candy and empty packages. This was not something that you just handed over to another person lightly; it was the kind of soul-bearing thing that took courage. But on the other hand, it made him angry: angry at Eponine for giving in to such things, but mostly angry at the people that did that to her, that allowed that to happen. Parents are supposed to protect their children, not use them to sell drugs.

After he had read the letter, he stayed up for a good part of the night just thinking. Is this what being one step closer to being an adult was like? Did it mean finally seeing the ugliness in the world? Understanding that not everyone had it easy and were sometimes used?

Charlie had wanted to feel different and more grown-up, and now he did.

It was a long time before he made it down to the arena. Part of it was due to a mishap in the toilet block -- people flushed drugs and stuff to get rid of them, and that's what he had tried to do with the Easter grass and candy cigarettes. That was a fun one to explain tearfully to the cleaning harpies.

He shuffled at the edge of the arena, sighed. "Hey, Ep."

The offer to hit her stood, but Charlie was above that. Never in his life had he wanted to hit someone and what would it accomplish? Wouldn't it make him as bad as the people that hurt Eponine?

Still, he wasn't sure how she would take his presence. With the tiniest of smiles, he added, "I just wanted to thank you for coming to my party yesterday. You made it a lot of fun!"

"Charlie," she breathed, turning to face him. She let him approach, rather than move to him herself. He was probably livid. Angry and scared, like he'd been when he'd come to her for the truth about her sickness. She wouldn't have blamed him. It was selfish, giving him that letter, letting him bare the burden of her addiction, of her past.

But now he knew more than anyone else at camp did. Not all of it- she couldn't tell him what else Bernard had her sell, how she became a punching bag to protect her siblings- because no one should have to bare that. But he knew enough.

When he got closer, she could tell he was smiling, just a little bit. "Huh. You're... welcome. Thanks for inviting me. I had fun." Good, clean fun. Well, with the sword of Damocles hanging over her head. "You have a good birthday, otherwise?" Tread lightly. Let him be the one to decide when to hit her.

"Yeah, it was pretty good," he replied tightly, shuffling in place. He stopped a few paces from her, standing rigidly. It wasn't that he didn't want to be near her, far from it, but that he still didn't know how to tread in this unfamiliar territory.

"My parents sent me some new clothes and stuff, and Andy -- he's my super awesome cousin -- got me the new action figure I've been wanting for a while." The words tumbled out of his mouth in the same quick way they always did, but Charlie seemed to trip and stumble over them a little bit this time. It seemed so dumb to talk about getting presents after reading that letter. There were more important things in the world to worry about and those things were it.

"Did... Did you really have fun?"

She grins, but it's a careful grin. She doesn't want to get her hopes up, before she lets him cut the cord. Granted, she doesn't really expect anything he throws at her to hurt physically too much: it's the mental half of it that is going to destroy her. But it's the sort of thing she's expecting, that she's used to.

"That's awesome, kid." She has to resist the urge to ruffle his hair again. "And I saw your dad showed up," she let out a small chuckle. "Luke really was wrong." Her words are, what is it? Bitter? Bitter with a good dash of amusement.

She doesn't expect Charlie to make sense of that. He wasn't here when Luke was. He wasn't here for the Battle of Manhattan. He wasn't here to watch them burn Luke's body in the burial shroud like he was some sort of hero instead of a coward. Like he hadn't been the cause of so much pain and destruction.

He'd been manipulated, she knew. He'd been wrong. He tried to manipulate her, and countless others like her. And he'd paid the price. He paid with his life.

Charlie still had no idea who Luke was; he had only heard stories of the Battle of Manhattan, the thing with the Titans, and he was glad it was something he missed. "Yeah, I didn't think he would show up. I thought he might be too busy with the sun, but I'm really, really glad he came."

It was the highlight of his birthday, really. Charlie wanted nothing more than to get to know his other dad and getting the chance to have him there for such an important day had warmed his heart.

Charlie trailed off into silence. That pretty much covered the small talk. The only thing he could think to mention was the weather, but he knew that was dumb too.

So he did the only thing he could thing he could think of.

He took a deep breath, removing his hands from his pockets, and walked up to Eponine. His wide brown eyes looked up into her face, scrutinizing her.

Then he reached out and hugged her. No hitting, just hugging. "I love you, Ep. I'm glad you're still here."

"Well, the party was at night, which I certainly think helped." She couldn't even give him a smile at that, as much as she wanted to. At this point, he just needed to rip off the band-aid, enough with the awkward small talk, just tell her he hated her.

Apparently, Charlie, too had the same idea. As he walked towards her, Eponine steeled herself, preparing for any sort of punch that was going to come her way. Unfortunately, when Charlie took his hands out of his pockets, despite knowing he was still a scrawny kid, she flinched. But then his arms were around her and- what?

"Are you sure? You did read my letter, right?" Her hands were at her side as he hugged her. "I should have ruined your birthday with that."

"'Course I read it, and there's no way you could ruin my party." It would probably take a herd of elephants trampling the entire cabin to do that and even then, Charlie would probably be able to put a positive spin on it.

He hugged her tightly again before pulling back in order to look up at her face, his own expression gravely serious. It made him look, for once, a lot older than he was. "I did a lot of thinking, after the party and reading the letter and stuff. You need friends. You need good people that won't let you down. If I leave you or hit you like you said I could, then I think I would be letting you down and that isn't okay."

He paused, taking a deep breath. "So I love you and I'll always be your friend, no matter what bad things you did or do."

For example: Elephants! Friends for Hannibal!

"Charlie," she started again, but fell silent, looking at his face. He really did look older. Properly thirteen. And his words made him sound even older still. "You wouldn't be letting me down, kid. You'd be proving me right."

But he says he loves her once, twice, and it knocks the wind out of her enough that she pulls out of his grasp. "Don't make promises you can't keep."

"Well I wanna prove you wrong." And dammit, he was going to do everything in his power to try.

Charlie shuffled when she moved away, scuffed a sneaker against the ground. "I never break my promises. I'm not gonna start with this one."

"Gods," she mutters, stepping back in to wrap her arms around him this time. "What the hell did I do to deserve someone like you, Charlie?"

"I dunno." He hugged her back with a shrug. It was just going to be one of the great mysteries of the world, Charlie supposed. "Are you done training? I got a lot of birthday cake leftover..."

"I wasn't training," she admitted. "I was waiting for you... But I'll take some cake, I guess." She wasn't hungry, but it was Charlie, and his birthday cake. She'd do what she could to eat some. "That'll get us out of the cold. And, ah... If you have any questions... I want you to ask them, Charlie. And I'll tell you the truth. 100%. Ask anything."

Surprising herself, Eponine stopped and looked at him, her bright blue eyes making contact with his warm brown ones: "Please."

He slipped his hand into hers, making to walk them out of the arena. He can't hold the eye contact long -- there are so many questions he wants to ask, but he doesn't know where to start or what the right ones are. Would they even help him understand? Charlie doesn't know; it still all seems too big for him to comprehend, but he's trying.

"I will, promise. No secrets?"

If Eponine minds holding Charlie's hand, she doesn't make any indication of it. It was... such a sweet, innocent gesture. It was achingly clear that Charlie wanted to be near her, to help her. He was so sheltered, so naive to think there was any saving her. He was a veritable Disney Prince, compared to her cast-off Tarantino character.

It was the unlikeliest of friendships, but Eponine wouldn't change it for the words.

"I promise. No secrets. Just as long as all this stays between us. Now c'mon. Question one."

"Uhhh..." For once, Charlie was at a loss for words. "I dunno know where to start. I guess... Why'd you think doing that stuff would be good, anyway?"

"I didn't." An easy answer. "I knew it was bad- against the law, whatever. But it was good if it meant my family had some money, that maybe we could eat or pay the rent."

That made sense. When it came down to family, Charlie felt like he would do anything for them as well. It just never got to the point he had to do something so drastic as that. "But why'd you think drinking and stuff was okay? Wasn't it gross?"

Charlie had no idea half of the things she'd had to do.

"Yeah. But smoking meant I didn't have to eat. And drinking... The burn was great. Being able to forget everything? And just let go? Same reason I smoked pot, or had a few pills." She sighs. "I'm not gonna lie, kid. I miss it. All of it."

"Oh..." He bit his lip. He didn't like that she missed it and it showed. Still, he wasn't going to chastise her for -- she's had enough of that. "So... What's it like?"

"Being drunk? It depends. You've seen me drunk, you know. Things get loose and problems just kinda go away. It's easier to forget things and just smile. Because until you're sober again, you don't have problems. Just another glass to finish."

"Wait! You've been drunk around me before? When?!"

"Your dad's dance," she admits. "And I was smashed on Halloween."

"Oh... I guess you're really good at hiding stuff..." That wasn't exactly a compliment, but he is kind of impressed.

"My father is Hermes, god of thieves. Hiding stuff and lying comes with the title." She shrugs. The way he looks at her... "I shouldn't have."

"No, you shouldn't have. And you won't again 'cause you don't have to now. ...Right?"

She shakes her head. "Because I can't." There was a difference, there. And that was the problem with forcing her to go through withdrawal. She had no say in it. It was just something that happened, and she didn't come to the conclusions herself. So the next time the offer arose, she'd take it with both hands.

This was new. There was a well of frustrated disappointment in his chest. Charlie may be all sunshine and rainbows, often oblivious, but he wasn't an idiot; he picked up on the subtleties of her word choice and he frowned, stopped on the path.

"Ep... Can't or won't?"

"Both." She hangs her head, a heavy feeling settling in her chest. She can't even look at Charlie.

The disappointment welled. "Then what can we do to make it won't?"

"I don't think there's anything, Charlie," she admits wearily. "It's like Enjolras told you- I'm sick."

"But -- but there's gotta be something! Like chicken noodle soup or whatever makes people feel better when they're sick." Chicken noodle soup always helped him.

"If there was, I'd already know it. But there isn't." She shrugs her shoulders. "Next question."

With a sigh, he continued on with their walk, squeezing her hand gently. He'd find something, he would. "I think I'm all outta questions right now."

She'll take it. "Alright. Invitation stays open, I guess." She squeezed his hand back.

"So tell me more about this cake."

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& when I get there it won't be far enough[closed]

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